The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.
When I was in high school I had an idealized image of being an adult. I couldn’t wait to be older, have a job, a dog, and a condo in the city. My image was a life of success, contentment, independence and maturity. I would have a job I loved and was good at, enough money for needs and a few wants, and would not settle for anything less.
I looked around at adults I knew, at how they participated in their lives. Some people worked every day and disliked what they did. Some talked about being excited for retirement, looking forward to the days when they could do what they wanted. I remember wondering how people could live like that, spending days waiting to get on to the next one. I felt this was the type of person I didn’t want to be.
When I actually matured into an adult I began to see how people could stay in a job, or in a life situation, they didn’t particularly like:
- Money may be a factor; once we earn a certain amount of money or family members to support and bills to pay, it can be very difficult to let it go and make a financial change.
- In general, people don’t like change and it seems that many prefer to stay in what they know rather than trying something new.
- Inertia may set in; it feeds on itself, that feeling of sluggishness with the familiarity and monotony of every day life.
- Lack of self-confidence; I believe many people, women especially, feel incapable of making a change, learning a new role and doing it well.
There are probably many more factors (please feel free to comment below!) and they share a similarity. The ugliness of each of these factors, real as they are, is that they hold us back from being our best selves. They change our perspective toward negativity. We may not give 100% to the job or the relationship and, therefore, we don’t receive back 100% satisfaction. It is a self-perpetuating cycle. We fall into a hole and wait for some set of circumstances to come along to get us out of the hole. Over time new goals may not be set, much less reached.
What I want to encourage you to consider, if you are in this kind of place, is you can get yourself out of the holes you are in. You are the You-est You there is and the world needs You to be your best self. Reassess your goals, remember your dreams and ideals from the past, and reconsider aiming for them.
Make it a good week!